Thursday, March 1, 2012

I guess I'm old-fashioned

Have you ever encountered one of those people who is cynical and sarcastic, and seems to revel in his orneriness? Sometimes you can learn a little something from him, even if it isn't the lesson he intended. I ran into one of those today, and a comment he made that really made me think. He said "why 'ladies first'? We don't need to be blindly follow antiquated rules of etiquette and get stuck in tradition." (I don't think he said it quite so eloquently, but I took a little poetic license since he's not here.)

I remember when I thought the same way- why do men have to pay on a date, hold the door open, pull out the chair for a woman., and be the "bread winner". These are all things that women can do for themselves; we don't need for a man to take care of us. As I've grown and learned, I realized I was looking at it all wrong. Of course women can open a door, and pay her own way. That isn't the point because that is not what any of these actions are about. They aren't meant to put a woman in her place or hold her back. These actions done as a sign of respect, with honor, and done in love. A man doesn't do these things because he looks down on a woman, but because he thinks highly of her.

This isn't to say that my husband always opens the door for me or pulls out my chair (although he has on occasion). My husband shows respect for me and honors me in many other ways. He corrects our kids when they speak to me in a manner that is disrespectful. He makes dinner, and often makes my plate when we are at home. (I reciprocate by making his plate when we are at friend's/family's homes.) He reminds me to take a break when I am overwhelmed, and makes it possible for me to relax. He isn't trying to put me down, he isn't trying to hold me back- he loves me and is trying to make me better. He wants me to feel honored and adored. I sure hope our kids are watching and picking up on the importance of taking care of those around them. If that is traditional and antiquated, then perhaps being modern is what is wrong with relationships these days.

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