The school that C and N attend is doing a lot of cool historical stuff this year because it is the anniversary of some historical event. I can’t really remember which and I’m not great with history, so that led to this conversation with my mom the other day:
Me: Well it can’t be the nation’s birthday. I know that one was in 1776. Who would celebrate the 435th?
Mom: And Virginia already had their big one a few years ago.
Me: Yeah, b/c they made all those 400th Anniversary license plates. Maybe a war? They should really put the year, location, and reason for wars in their name. It would make it easier to remember. Wait, what was the War of 1812? That was 200 years ago.
Mom: Was that one with France?
Me: I thought we liked them since they helped us get rid of England. Wait, maybe they stopped sending croissants over or they were stale after crossing the ocean and we wanted the recipe but they wouldn’t give it to us.
Mom: I don’t think we started a war of croissants.
Me: But it makes sense, because croissants are pretty awesome, and if I was in America and France wouldn’t give up the recipe, I would totally shoot them. Then they would shoot me back and it would turn into a big war with lots of shooting. Then our people and their people would sit down and we would work it all out over French roast coffee and pumpkin spice creamer. We would trade some pumpkin butter for their croissant recipe and everyone would be happy.
Mom: You know that wars aren’t usually over food, right?
Me: Ummm pretty sure they are. Battle of the Bulge? Boston Tea Party? People get serious about their food.
So, regardless of what the history books say, I am convinced the War of 1812 was over croissants. And now it is on Wikipedia, which makes it official. This is probably why I don’t home school.
PS. Didn’t the Irish have some war about potatoes? And notice how Switzerland doesn’t ever have to fight wars because they are awesome about sharing their cheese and chocolate with the world.
PPS. I'm starting to think my mom isn't much better with history than I am. Not only did she not know what this year is the big anniversary of, but she didn't know most wars are over food.